


Don't Look Him In The Eye

by MelanieVimpula



Series: His Eyes [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: 18 years old Dave, Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, M/M, POV First Person, Psychological Porn, Psychological Trauma, What If -scenario
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-21
Updated: 2013-03-21
Packaged: 2017-12-06 00:49:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/729769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelanieVimpula/pseuds/MelanieVimpula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dub-con Stridercest.<br/>Dave's relationship with his Bro has become unhealthy and depraved. He knew it was coming for the latest years of his life, but on the critical moment he couldn't say no and blames himself for it.<br/>Mainly Dave's thoughts and smut in the form of a blojob. A little study of psyche with porn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Look Him In The Eye

**Author's Note:**

> Dave is 18 in this.  
> Trigger warnings: Dubious Consent, Sexual Abuse, Incest (duh, it's stridercest)  
> First Stridercest fanfic after changing fandom~ Haven't been writing much in the past four months, but I finally got this written down~  
> I think this could be classified as Psychological Porn, at least it's very therapeutic to me. :3  
> And even though it's not the hardcorest thing I've written; remember dear friends, it's fiction! And I don't see Bro's and Dave's relationship like this, it's the setting I wanted to write and generally the what if -concept.  
> But now, go on an enjoy if you like this sort of thing~
> 
> Also, now it has a second part: http://archiveofourown.org/works/861380

-”Dave.” He says and you freeze mid-step. Bro doesn't need to say anything else, just one word and you know what he wants. You know far too well what that subtle crack of his voice laced with uncertain undertone means and you obey, even if you don't want to. Your mind is blank and your cheeks burn in red when you take a step towards him, forcing your legs to move. You can see how the corner of his mouth twitches as he releases the breath he has been holding, seemingly relieved that you're cooperative once again. Bro reaches up to take his shades off, but you don't look him in the eye. He tucks them silently on the collar of his shirt. You follow them with your eyes and don't look up when you stop in front of him. Your fingers tremble and you close them into fists to stop it; you've made it this far and it's not okay to give up now. Bro leans back against the sofa, resting his hand on the backrest, waiting for you to make your move. You swallow and trace your eyes down his chest, stomach, abdomen, until you see the familiar bulge in his pants. Just the sight of it and your knees buckle beneath you and you almost fall, quickly catching yourself against his knees. He chuckles softly, but the sound pierces your head, sounding loud as hell and you don't think can you take it. But here you are, and you really don't want to be.

You squeeze your eyes shut when you feel his fingers against the sides of your face, pulling your aviators off. You know that Bro puts them next to his own shades on his collar, you don't even have to look. It's a thing he does and has done since the first time. He takes a grip of your chin and tilts your face up, then leans down and presses an openmouthed kiss on your lips. You don't kiss back. But that's okay, you think; it's for him, not for you. A small bite, barely a nibble on your lips tells you to open your mouth and you do. That's what he wants, right? You can feel him smiling against your lips a moment before he pushes his tongue in your mouth. Bro's other hand kneads into the hair on the back of your head, rubbing soft circles on your scalp. You tense on that, even though he apparently wants to make you relax a bit. _Not happening, man._ He lets go of your chin and you quickly look back down, working open his belt. Your fingers find their place on their own, moving unnaturally fluidly. This is the part when your thoughts start to wander, trying to cover up what you're doing. Bro's breathing gets heavier, you note. So do your thoughts, justifying. _Humans have urges. Strong urges. And humans usually break under their urges and that's perfectly normal,_ you rationalize as your fingers find the zipper and tug it down. _And your Bro is as human as you; you can't blame him for his humanity._ You pull his pants and boxers down, now staring down at his hard cock. Familiar, pretty thick, but fits your mouth surprisingly well. Rationalizing everything helps you cope, you just don't think with feeling; you're not allowed to break. Only reason. But still you slip time to time... You can imagine just how beckoning it is; when your self-control is weak and the urge strong... _Just a word and the need is fulfilled. Falling is so easy._ You would take advantage of that too if you were him. Besides, lust is intoxicating and strong urge, needing so much holding back. But when you're having a weak moment, that hard duty becomes an impossible task. You know, you understand and you forgive.

An impatient grunt makes you snap out of your thoughts. You quickly spit in your hand and push away the nagging feeling in the back of your head, making you a bit dizzy. You close your fingers around his shaft, stroking once, twice, as if testing that it's still the same. The haze spreads all the way through your mind and you lose your body, telling it from afar what it should do. You're far away behind your eyes; _shades or no, when you go back far enough nothing can expose you._ You press your tongue flat against the head of Bro's cock, drawing a shuddering breath from him. Moving downwards you lick along the whole length, coming back to the tip and twirling your tongue over it. His fingers curl and uncurl into the couch and you know he'd love to pull your hair to make you go faster, but you also know he doesn't want to hurt you that way. _Funny_ , you think while pressing your tongue against the vein underneath his cock, feeling his pulse. _Doesn't want to hurt... But he has kicked your ass on multiple occasions._ It’s not the same; it was for the greater good. It was for making you stronger, giving you a real challenge. You take the tip in your mouth, stroking at the same time on the shaft. You’re rather pleased of his long, breathy moan. _He really wants to protect you, huh?_ Yes, you're sure of that. And he does, still, you can remember all those strifes and how he told you to get stronger and to trust no one and stand for yourself and to say no or at least fight back... Protect yourself, he said. _But from who?_ From him. He wanted to protect you from himself.

But he screwed himself over when he taught you to listen to that one certain tone. Fuck, if you were told to jump off the roof with that tone, you'd do it. _And so, his own broken mind betrayed him once again..._ You humor that thought, even though there’s nothing funny about that. Though it’s pretty ironic. Yes, ironic is good. As ironic as you when you had that strange need to learn to give good head. You don't even remember where you got that idea from, but the results were really good; you've almost killed you gag reflex and have learnt the breathing patterns needed with different paces. _Even more ironic is that right when you had perfected your techinques, you got to practice with the real thing, with Bro._ And once again, it's time to use that knowledge. You open your mouth wide, slowly swallowing him as deep as you can. He spasms and lets out a low moan, _fuck you're good at this!_ You feel that certain sick pride in knowing you're good at what you do. _Could it be you still want him to be proud of you?_ But you really do. Why else you would do this? It's not just the pity... _Even though he's such a failure of a guardian?_ He's not, you tell yourself, it's you. You should've said no. You were taught to do that, training of many years and you, _you_ fucked it up by not rejecting him. Guilt. This is the price you pay for fucking up. And there's no going back. What is done is done. You savor him on your tongue, thick and salty. You can feel him swelling a bit in your mouth, in response you give him a good suck. You don't even know whose forgiveness or relief you're searching. You just wouldn't want to think this much.

You know your Bro well, you remaind yourself. And even if he tries to hide some things from you, you still know them, learnt them along your life with him. And you also know he can't be truly satisfied in anything. You both know this perfectly well, but he won't admit it. He's a perfectionist and searches for the ultimate satisfaction, more and more. It shows clearly through his lust. And he thinks he can control it, to hold all the strings, as he puts that. You know better. If he could, you wouldn't be there on your knees with your brother's cock shoved down your throat. You bob your head slowly, dragging your tongue along his length and giving sloppy licks to it. Some things even you don't know. _What this even is to him…? Was it just a sudden idea; “hey I think it would make me happy if my lil’ bro sucked my dick”?_ At the same time you wish it was and the other side of you wishes it wasn’t.

You don't know if it's a relief or not but now when you look back at it, he had planned this for a while. Was it conscious or not, you're not sure. And you really don’t know should you be extremely bothered or a bit ...proud. But if there's anything bright about the situation, he did wait for you to come to age. And he's gone only for the mouth. But you worry when only that can't satisfy him anymore, when he wants still something more... Then again you don’t know what you should think and how you should feel. _But bros help bros, right?_ And if there's anything you can do for him, you'd do it. It's your duty, you tell to yourself and make yourself believe it. And you do. Your duty is important; to relieve your Bro's stress and need that he can get a grip of his self-control again. Really important.

The encouraging whispers that fall from Bro's lips flow through your mind and make your head hurt. So many conflicting thoughts and feelings, maybe even too much of them. Still you listen to him, wanting to hear every single word. _Are you really that needy for his attention? Why you still keep going? Are you really that desperate?_ But you just bob your head faster wanting to hear more, hear something that would make these thoughts go away, something that would free you of this burden of guilt. Bro speaks to you like he doesn't know how this makes you feel. _But what if he doesn't know?_ Yes. Yes! That’s the thing! You'd love to believe that and for a second you do. The tone of your thoughts changes along with it, and for a second you can pretend it really is so; _please say my name when you come, tell me I really am important! Could just anyone do this, anyone else but me? Tell me it isn't so! I want a reason, just one reason more why I am doing this! The best and only, please, say you're proud! You’re not leaving as long as I do this? Right? Tell me you really do care!_  
He’s close, you can tell. And you can tell also that you won’t get answers.

You dig your nails into his hips and deepthroat him for the very last second, feeling him cum. You pull back slowly, stroking him a few times and licking him clean. The taste of victory is bitter and salty, spread across your tongue. You swallow it quickly, still the tangy flavour lingering in your mouth. Bro sighs deeply and reaches forwards, ruffling your hair affectionately.  
-”You’re the best, lil' man.” He whispers. You can hear how choked his words are, dripping heavy with guilt. You can see it from his face too, he knows exactly what he's doing and it sickens you to no end. And so do your thoughts. You want to enjoy the words, but you hate how he says them. It's always such a hard drop. _You should learn that you always fall on your ass on the last second. Dave, you can't win him in this._ One last time you avert his eyes when you stand up, snatching your shades from his collar.

_But don't worry, just don't let him see, 'kay? Don't look in his eyes, don't._

You slip the shades on and turn away, walking towards your room. 

_Forget it, it's over now. Just play along._

Your feet feel light, everything's slow and distant.

_Nothing happened, it's okay, just don't let him see._

Your walk turns into run.

_You're safe as long as your facade holds._  
 _Don't show the shame. **And don’t look him in the eye.**_  



End file.
